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On this page you will find information about parenting and self-awareness.
"Just
How Are Our Children?"
by Dr. Louise
Hart is our featured article. Dr. Hart is the author of two books, The Winning Family and On the Wings of Self Esteem.
At the
bottom of this page you will find links that allow you to download all of these:
#1 "Relationship Counseling" invites us to look at our relationship goals.
#2 "Price of Perfection" explores this societal issue.
#3 "Social Isolation in the USA" is an article about
life as it is in America today.
#4 "Teaching Values to Our Children"
#5 "Checklist for Kids"
and
#6 Do you need a little relaxation? Check out "FUN PLACES in the BAY AREA."
Now, consider this...
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Just How Are Our Children?
Dr. Louise Hart
UNICEF just released its report comparing the lives of children in 21 industrial nations around the world. The report assessed
whether children feel loved, cherished, special and supported within the family and community, and whether the family and
community are being supported in this task by public policy and resources.
This global study measured 40 factors
such as poverty, deprivation, relationships with family and peers, happiness, and risky behavior. At the top of the list are
the nations that take the best care of their children -- the Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries. At the bottom of
the list are the United States (20) and the United Kingdom (21).
The report found that American and British youths
are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, fight and bully, and be sexually active than youngsters elsewhere.
Another recent study by the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children's Health polled Bay Area parents and found that
their greatest concern is the emotional health of their children. This finding is important because emotional health is the
crux of a child's well-being; it's an indicator of the quality of life.
Emotionally healthy children lead happier
lives. They are more confident and optimistic, less stressed and more joyful. Furthermore, "... they make healthier choices
about their education, sexual behavior, drug and alcohol use, and the future." (Times, Jan. 11).
"If parents are
worried about their children's medical health, they go to a doctor," says "Childhood Matters" radio talk show host Rona Renner.
"If they're worried about their children's emotional health, they don't know what to do."
Here is what parents
can do: Plants need soil, water, and sunshine. When those needs are not met, there are problems. Children also have basic
needs that must be met on a daily basis. When they are not met, there are problems.
To be physically healthy, children
need nutritious food, sufficient sleep, shelter, exercise, and safety. To be emotionally healthy, children need to know they
are loved, cherished, respected, understood, and supported.
Simply filling those needs frequently solves the problems.
For example, if a child cries because of hunger, tears dry up once he is fed and smiles return.
We live in stressful
times. Fortunately, we can choose how to react or respond to tough situations. We are taught that "fight or flight" are the
basic stress reactions, but these are not our only options. Studies have found women's responses to be "tend and befriend."
When stressed, women tend to children, and reach out to friends. Talking things over can release stress, introduce a different
perspective, and build connections and support. It also improves emotional well-being.
Figure out what your own
coping skills are and observe those of your children. Make time for kids to talk through troubles. Give them your full attention.
Really listen to them. When they finish talking, ask, "what can you do?"
Explore possible choices. Think through
the consequences of each. Give them support for making good choices. You may hear a sigh of relief as the burden lifts and
emotional well-being returns.
A lot of work needs to be done in the United States to get us off the bottom of the
list and make our country a child-friendly one. That work needs to be done by all of us -- in our homes, in our communities,
and in the government.
David Parker of UNICEF tells us that to correct this situation "... the entire society must
have at its heart the idea of improving child well-being."
_____________________________________
Dr. Louise Hart is the author of The Winning Family and On the Wings of Self
Esteem. She is a professional speaker who lives in Oakland.
Contact information:
www.louisehart
info or email: hart2heartprograms@sbcglobal.net
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