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On this page we will look at some of the issues
we specialize in here at the Center.
Just click on any of the underlined
topic-words to go directly to
that page.
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RELATIONSHIP ISSUES:
Being in a relationship is never
easy. With ever-changing gender-role expectations, and the "I deserve to have my ideal soul mate NOW" attitude,
it seems that relationships have become ever more challenging.
Here at the Center, we have come to see that in order to have a successful loving relationship, we must be willing
to work on it: learning negotiation skills, learning how to be compassionately assertive, learning to be a loving listener,
learning to clarify our expectations, and learning how to be playful and intimate.
Relationship/marriage counseling
is challenging, but worth the effort!
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"We must all learn
to take chances.
It may be difficult, but it's the only way
we can ever do anything really good."
- William Faulkner
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PARENTING ISSUES:
How can you raise self-reliant children in a seemingly crazy and self-indulgent world?
This is the challenge for all parents, but no one
needs to be limited by what they learned growing up. Becoming a parent does not guarantee having effective parenting skills,
and just "loving" your children is not enough.
What could be more important than becoming the best parent you are capable of becoming? Success as a parent takes
commitment and effort! Let us help you. At the Center we specialize in helping parents fill their "parenting toolbox"
with techniques that are practical and effective.
We also offer individual counseling, family/parenting consultations, free classes, a FREE BEST PARENTING PRACTICES newsletter, and support groups. |
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To sign up for the free
BEST PARENTING PRACTICES
NEWSLETTER,
click
HERE
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EMDR is a very powerful and effective therapeutic tool that can help us tap into our
creative energies. It can help us to remove the psychological blocks that may have impeded our progress and kept us from living
the fulfilling life we deserve. It can help us reduce angry re-activity. It can help us be the parents our children want us
to be. And the good news, ... this positive restructuring usually takes place much more rapidly with EMDR than would be the
case using the more traditional types of therapy.
Call us at 925-855-1745 to
find out more about EMDR and how it might help in your situation.
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Help for DEPRESSION:
The first step toward finding a way out of depression is to recognize that you
are depressed. There is a simple "self-evaluation" on our page about depression.
The support you need to begin your journey back from your suffering is only a phone
call away. You are not alone. We have helped hundreds of people find there way to a better, more fulfilling, life.
We offer a variety of psychological options, including:
brief therapy, EMDR, and cognitive restructuring.
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Help for STEP-FAMILIES
Creating a peaceful step family can be a challenge for even the strongest and
most capable parents. There are many pit-falls that loving adults can easily fall into when they attempt to blend two families
together.
If being a parent is seen as
a wonderful and challenging experience, then being a step parent can be viewed as the graduate course.
Liz Hannigan and Cliff Crain, Co-directors at the Center, have been
in a step family since the mid-1980s. Perhaps they will have some ideas that will be useful for you? The Center also offers
a monthly step family support group. Call 925-855-1745 if you want more information about what the Center can offer your step
family.
To receive a FREE subscription to the BEST PARENTING PRACTICES newsletter, go to HELP FOR PARENTS.
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ANGER ISSUES:
No
one is born angry, and no one need go through life with a "chip" on his/her shoulder. Anger is a "cover"
emotion. That is, it is always the activated feeling that lies on top of our other feelings. Some of us feel angry quite often
(or all the time) when our underlying feelings of hurt, embarrassment, fear, shame, loneliness and/or sadness remain hidden.
It is possible to escape from the "anger-monster"
that may have taken residence in your body. If you have the willingness to self-evaluate, you can find better ways to handle
disappointment and stress in your life. You can unlearn old unhelpful habit-patterns, and find ways to be less angry and more
assertive. Why not give it a try? Some clients find that brief therapy can make a big difference in dealing with this issue.
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CODEPENDENCY:
Most people seem to think that
this is a term used to describe the partner of an alcoholic. It is much, much more!
Codependency is the "normal but unhealthy" response to growing up in a
family where love is missing or misused. We can define codependency broadly as meaning "the need to look outside of oneself
for fulfillment."
This means that
the typical codependent has a very difficult time being alone. They feel that they are "not enough" and they look
to others to bring them life satisfaction. Because of this perceived need, codependent people can be very chameleon-like,
changing who they are to please others.
There
is a close connection between having an unhealthy self-image, not being accepting of who you are, and being codependent: that
is, the person with self-esteem issues may become codependent as a coping strategy.
There is a way out of this
maze, and the key is "willingness" to change.
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SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES:
There
is nothing more important in your life than having an accurate and acceptable self-image. If we have reached adulthood feeling
that we are not entitled to happiness and joy in our life, we will actually undermine the positive possibilities that present
themselves.
People with low self-esteem
find a host of ways to unintentionally hurt themselves. Different people will (unconsciously) try different things, including
the following: self-medicating with drugs/alcohol, being rage-aholics, becoming pleasers, being victims, seeking love in the
wrong places, being overly loyal, being insensitive and arrogant, becoming depressed, and pushing others away.
Having low self-esteem is like having a ticking time-bomb inside you.
Although a person may find brief periods of contentment, they will eventually "prove" that their negative self judgment
(e.g. "I am not worthy", "I am not good enough" or "I am stupid") is correct. They will then
find ways to undermine any successes they may have experienced.
This does not have to be a "life sentence."
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How is life working for you ?
Here is a self-quiz developed by Ed Diener at the University of Illinois.
Satisfaction with Life Scale
Use the 1-7 scale to rate your level of agreement with each statement.
1 = Not at all true 4 = Moderately true 7 = Absolutely true
#1. In most ways, my life is close to ideal. ___________
#2. The conditions of my life
are excellent. ___________
#3. I am satisfied with my life. __________
#4. I have the important things I want in life. __________
#5. If I could live over,
I would change nothing. _________
If you scored 15 or less, you are dissatisfied with your life. If you scored
31 or higher, you are extremely satisfied with your life. With scores under 31, you may want to explore ways to make your
life happier. Perhaps EMDR would help remove old roadblocks.
Give us a call if you would like to give yourself, and your loved ones,
the gift of a happier life.
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“Every moment is a golden one for him
who has the vision to recognize it as such.”
- Henry Miller
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Boldness has genius, power, Center for Creative Living
199 East Linda Mesa, Suite 4
Danville, California 94526
Phone: (925) 855-1745 Fax: (925) 829-9426
email: 4creativeliving@sbcglobal.net
Serving Alamo, Concord, Dublin, Danville,
Lafayette, Pleasanton,
Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek,
Contra Costa County and the entire Bay Area since 1994
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