BOTH ANGER & ANXIETY
ARE EXPLORED BELOW
is explored on the top half of this page.
Anger can be a problem for many people: those who
seem to have
been born with a "short fuse" and those
who are in the same family as the person with the anger-issue.
At the bottom of this page you will find information about ANXIETY.
WHAT IS YOUR ANGER STYLE ?
Aggressive ? Passive ? Passive-aggressive ? or Assertive ?
... AND HOW ANGRY ARE YOU? Read below and find out how ANGER may be impacting your life!
#1 AGGRESSIVE ( Escalating):
Makes threats. Instead
of words, relies on action to communicate. Takes away rights of others by behaving violently or abusively. Makes "you
statements" (like, "You always..." or "You had better not..."). Denies personal responsibility. Thinks
his behavior is justified by the situation.
#2 PASSIVE (Stuffing):
feelings inside. Denies or minimizes own frustrations and hurts. Says "It doesn't matter" or "I don't care."
Avoids conflicts. Has trouble communicating needs directly. Feels helpless. Gives in and gives up. Directs anger toward self.
Tries to communicate dis-satisfaction by behaving self-destructively. Has distorted thinking.
#3 PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE (Indirect/manipulative):
not communicate directly.Does not let people know what makes them angry. Communicates anger by giving "silent treatment"
or forgetting on purpose, being late, being deviously manipulative. Is proud of having a long memory and holding grudges.
Plays VICTIM. Gossips.
Is a good listener.
Speaks up clearly when
upset. Stays in control and takes responsibility for own behavior. Takes "time out" when needed to calm down, then
takes responsibility to come back to the problem. Avoids blaming and seeks solutions. Can self-soothe. Communicates clearly
and directly. Clarifies expectations. Does not avoid difficult discussions. Is NOT a victim. Stays on the subject. Is respectful
of the other person's viewpoint.
Angry people often
do not recognize or express the feelings that lie underneath their anger: hurt, fear, guilt, inadequacy, betrayal, abandonment,
helpless and/or hopeless.
Recognising your ANGER STYLE can be the first step in learning ways to manage your angry
feelings in a more effective way.
Call the Center for Creative Living in Danville at (925) 855-1745
if you would like to explore this issue further.
During times of stress, it is quite common to experience moments of very strong, upsetting feelings. The body’s natural
“fight-or-flight” responses will kick in and emotional reactions may short circuit the logic system so needed
at such times.
Many people have developed the habit of BECOMING ANGRY as a first response to
unwanted and/or unexpected situations.
If you are willing to take just one minute to review
the questions below, it may help you regain perspective and reduce unneccessary stress.
as something triggers a very strong feeling of irritation, sadness, fear, or ANGER, take 60 seconds to go through this list:
#1 Does what just happened really matter to me?
#2 In the
grand scheme of things, how big a deal is it? Is it likely that it will seem like a catastrophe in 24 hours? In a week?
#3 Am I taking this too personally?
#4 If I react now, is
it more likely to help or make matters worse?
#5 Would it make sense to take the time to
think though the situation, then decide how to proceed?
#6 Are my thoughts and actions helping
me or hurting me right now? Is what I am telling myself about the situation accurate or might I be jumping to conclusions?
As you answer the questions, don’t try to talk yourself out of feeling the way you
do. Instead, reflect on how you really see the situation. By avoiding an impulsive, stress-induced reaction, you can choose
a wise response. Good luck!
How ANGRY are you ?
Do you want to find out?
Take the ANGER QUIZ on the right side of this page.
DIRECTIONS: Mark each statement using these numbers:
1 = NEVER true
2 = Sometimes true
3 = Often true
4 = Almost always!
Interpreting Your Score …
18 or below = You have ways to handle your stress
and stay calm.
19-27 = You are in the normal range.*
28-35 = Getting angry may be your habit.*
Over 35 = You are putting yourself and family at risk for
stress- related disease.*
Why not give us a call and explore new ways to manage your feelings?
1._____It doesn’t take much
to get me mad.
2._____People tell me I should stay calm.
3._____I “blow up” at terrible drivers!
4._____If I am really upset, I may hit the cat /dog !
5._____People have called me a “hothead”.
6._____I can get furious about the way
I get treated at restaurants.
7._____When stupid people are around me, it upsets my entire day!
8._____When things get really bad, I throw things!
9._____I swear loudly to let off steam.
10._____I feel like hitting a someone
who mistreats me.
11._____I have been told I have a bad temper.
12._____I get irate if someone embarrasses me if front of my friends.
13._____I am an ambitious person, so
I get impatient with slow people.
14._____I have been known to break things when I get frustrated.
________ MY TOTAL SCORE
ANXIETY is a major problem for many people who experience it daily. It can keep us from enjoying life and from
achieving our personal life-goals.
People often think that they must live with anxiety as a
life-sentence. Such is not the case. If you are willing to do the work required, the habit of living with anxiety can
to start? It is usually helpful for us to acknowledge the reality of how we are currently living our life. Look over the "anxiety
evaluation" on the right side of this page, and rate yourself using the following scale:
0 = not at all true for me.
1 = sometimes true for me.
2 = frequently true for me.
3 = most of the time this is true.
INTERPRETING YOUR RESULTS:
If your total score on the anxiety Evaluation
is "30" or more, it might benefit you to explore anxiety-reduction therapy. At the Center, we offer several theraputic
techniques that have been found helpful, including the following: (1) behavior modification work, (2) cognitive restructuring,
EMDR, and inner-child work.
In addition to the above therapies, we will want you to discuss your situation
with your medical doctor. Now... do you want to get started?
If so, give us a call at (925) 855-1745.
"The true profession of man
is to find his way
back to his compassionate self."
- Herman Hesse
want to explore ANGER or ANXIETY issues,
please give us a call at
2 5 - 8 5 5 - 1 7 4 5
or email us at
1. Feeling nervous.
____ 2. Frequent worry.
____ 3. Twitching/feeling shakey.
____ 4. Muscle tension, aches.
____ 5. Restless sleep pattern.
____ 6. Gets tired easily.
____ 7. Shortness of breath.
____ 8. Rapid heartbeat.
____ 9. Sweating not due to heat.
____ 10. Dry mouth.
____ 11. Dizziness/light-headedness.
____ 12. Stomach probems/diarrhea.
____ 13. Hot flashes and/or chills.
____14. Trouble swallowing.
____ 15. Frequent urination.
____ 16. Feeling of being on edge.
____ 17. Quick to startle.
____ 18. Trouble concentrating.
____ 19. Irritability.
____ 20. Avoids places and situations
that produce anxious feelings.
____ 21. Frequent thoughts of danger.
____ 22. Feels that life is too difficult.
____ 23. Something terrible
is going to happen.
____ 24. Rarely finds time to just relax.
_________ = Total Score
Center for Creative Living
199 East Linda Mesa, Suite 4Danville, California 94526Phone: (925) 855-1745 Fax: (925) 829-9426
email@example.com________________________________________________Serving Alamo, Concord, Dublin, Danville,Lafayette,
Pleasanton, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Contra Costa County and the entire
Bay Area since 1994